Ahoy there, ye scallywags and buccaneers! Avast ye, for I have a treasure trove of the finest pirates pick up lines that will make even the most hardened sea dog crack a smile. Whether ye be searching for a matey to share yer adventures on the high seas or simply aiming to shiver someone’s timbers, these clever and swashbuckling pirates pick up lines be sure to sail straight into their heart.
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Best Pirates Pick Up Lines
- Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
- WOW! I bet we could fit SIXteen men on that chest!
- You can sail my seven seas.
- Yer guilty of being a hot wench. I sentence you to walking my plank!
- You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, you’re the bomb.
- Imma cut to the chase…you wanna hook-up?
- Do ya’ mind if the parrot watches?
- Baby, my ship was sunk till I saw you.
- You blow my cannons.
- So you’re the new cabin boy, eh?
- Well call me a landlubber, ’cause I’m about to plunder your Treasure Island.
- I got me a bad case of scurvy, and your grapefruits are the only cure!
- Ya certainly put the shiver in me timber!
- Nice poop deck on ya, lassie. Care fer a swabbin’?
- You don’t have to pay to get on board my ship.
- Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad! (Female Pirate)
- A good captain goes down with his ship, wanna go down with me?
- You’re guilty of being a hot wench…i sentence you to walking my plank
- I got a bad case of scurvy…and your grapefruits are the only cure
- Hey, sexy — how about a Jolly Rogering?
- Arg baby, Arg.
- Let’s walk the plank to an out of this world experience.
- I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.
- Let’s have a treasure hunt, cause X marks the spot.
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Funny Pirates Pick Up Lines
- Is that an ‘X’ on the seat of your pants? Because it appears that there’s wond’rous booty buried underneath!
- I sure would like to pillage yer booty.
- Harrrrr! Let me create the 8th sea in yerr undies!
- I like me some pirate booty.
- I hope you like to matey, because I’m about to swab your deck.
- I’ve crushed seventeen men’s skulls between me thighs! (Female Pirate)
- You’re just the tasty wench I’ve been keeping me eye out for!
- Approach your target and place your arm on their nearest shoulder: If you were a pirate, would you place your parrot on THIS shoulder or…(put your arm around them and touch the other shoulder) THIS shoulder?
- Well blow me down?
- Brwaack! Polly want a cracker? … Oh, wait. That’s for Talk Like a PARROT Day.
- Come on up and see me urchins.
- Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
- That’s not an echo, my parrot thinks you’re sexy too.
- I’d love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
- Can I wear your patch ?
- Polly wants a crack-whore.
- You want to adjust my rigging?
- I’ll pillage your ship!
- See this hook? Variable speed with five alternate attachments, Baby.
- Anchor’s away.
- Wanna see my Davie Jones?
- Wanna take a ride in my crows nest?
- Bring on the storm, I like it rough.
- What are YOU doing here? (Female Pirate)
- So, tell me, why do they call ye, “”Cap’n Feathersword?”” (Female Pirate)
- Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.
- One look at you and a shiver went up me timber
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Short Pirates Pick Up Lines
- Pardon me, but would ya mind if I fired me cannon through your porthole?
- Wanna shiver me timbers?
- Aye, I guarantee ye, I’ve had a twenty percent decrease in me “lice ratio!” (Female Pirate)
- Strike yer panties and prepare to be boarded, lassie!
- You’re drinking a Salty Dog? How’d you like to try the real thing?
- Let’s get together and haul some keel.
- It may take a while to get to England in a row boat, but good things take time.
- Yo ho ho! How bout a bottle Of rum? Drink up cause we’re about to get swashbuckled!
- Me skull and crossbones arn’t the only thing I plan on raisin’ tonight.
- I must be huntin’ treasure, ’cause I’m diggin’ yer chest!
- I’d swab your deck any day.
- Haaaarrrr! Best me plug that blowhole!
- They don’t call me Long John because my head is so big.
- You can lock my in your brig, baby.
- How’d you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
- I’ll beat your armada any day.
- Let me stick me cannon in your porthole.
- Yo ho! Bottle of rum? Drink up cause we’re about to get swashbuckled!
- You. Pants Off. Now! (Female Pirate)
- Arrrrrrrrrrrrr you free this Saturday?
- Let’s weigh anchor.
- I’ll let you in on a big secret… that’s no peg leg!
- That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.
- Wanna come back to my home port and see my dock?
- Come dock in my port.
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Latest Pirates Pick Up Lines
- Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?
- I’ll bet you can’t find my buried treasure.
- Not only do I have a ship, but it’s a long one.
- Just because one eye is patched doesn’t mean I don’t see how beautiful you are.
- RAMMING SPEED! (Female Pirate)
- Want to see my 9mm?
- I’ll be the captain if you be my first mate.
- Swabbing the decks IS a euphemism. (The author’s would like to thank Hetalia: Axis Powers for the preceding line.)
- C’mon, lad, shiver me timbers! (Female Pirate)
- Do you have the latest copy of Windows XP with cracked product activation? (software pirates only)
- That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.
- Yo, ho ho! How ’bouts a bottle of rum?
- Arharrr, care to sink my battleship deary?
- All hands on deck!
- Yo, ho! Bottle of rum?
- That’s quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard! (Female Pirate)
- Is that a belayin’ pin in yer britches, or are ye… (Female Pirate)
- I’d love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
- Baby, you unfurl my sails.
- Is that a cutlass in your pants or aarrrrrrrrrrrr you just happy to see me treasure chest?
- You raise my Jolly Roger.
- Avast, me pretty! Strike your panties and prepare to be boarded.
- I’ll give you a British pound and two gold coins.
- It would make me Jolly if we could Roger.
