Let’s face it, not all pick up lines are charming and romantic. Some people like to spice things up and take the aggressive approach, making use of the best mean pick up lines they can come up with. Whether you find them funny or cringey, you can’t deny the impact these lines have on your psyche. We’ve rounded up the top 140+ most savage mean pick up lines that are guaranteed to leave you shocked, entertained, and maybe even a little turned on. Brace yourself for the onslaught of insults and cheesy come-ons as we explore the darker side of flirting.
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Best Mean Pick Up Lines
- You’re like the neighbors’ WiFi. Everyone wants to use you.
- Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.
- Are you a mosquito? Because you’re so annoying!
- Are you pi? Because you’re being irrational and this conversation is going in circles.
- Did you fall from heaven? Because it looks like you landed on your face.
- Hey, you dropped something. My standards.
- How do you like your eggs in the morning: scrambled, fried, or fertilized?
- Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go and dance so I can talk to your friend?
- I want to tickle your belly button. From the inside, of course.
- For a fatty, you don’t seem to sweat much.
- Keep calm and take your pants off.
- Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!
- You smell just like my mom, want to grab a drink?
- Honestly, I’m into necrophilia. Wanna come home and play dead?
- There will only be 7 planets after I destroy Uranus.
- You must be really sweet, seeing how all of your teeth are rotten.
- You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
- I think it’s time I tell you what people are saying behind your back. Nice ass!
- Let’s play the Pinocchio game. You sit on my face, and I’ll tell you a lie.
- I like you like my coffee. Bitter!
- You’re the thot that counts!
- I put the “std” in “stud.” The only thing I need now is “u.”
- Come with me if you want to live!
- Are you ice cream? Because your face looks like rocky road.
- Are you a piece of trash? Because as someone who cares deeply about the environment, I am obligated to pick you up.
- Hey, how much?
- Are you a model, cause I want to be your Instagram boyfriend.
- If I was a fly, I’d be all over you. Why? Because you’re sh*t!
- As long as I have a face, you’ll always have a place to sit.
- Wow, you have the chin of Superman. I bet you could take a serious punch.
- How are you not cold? You’ve been naked in my mind this whole time.
- Are you Ebola? Because you melt my insides.
- Are you crippling depression and anxiety? Because you haunt me at every waking hour.
- My feelings of love for you are like the stars in the sky. They’re probably long dead.
- We’re not socks. But I think we’d make a great pair.
- This must be puppy love I’m feeling towards you! You remind me of my dear dog.
- I love you so much I would eat the corn from your poop.
- On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I smell like your mom/dad?
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Dirty Mean Pick Up Lines
- If you were a comatose patient, I’d pull the plug.
- Are you as good as everyone says you are? I’m just curious.
- You may not be Jesus, but I’d still nail the heck out of you.
- On my last date, we played strip poker. We stripped, and I poked her.
- Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because your pants are big enough to fit one.
- Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
- You’re kind of ugly and fat. Lucky for you, I’m into those things.
- I think I saw you on TV. Oh yeah, it was on animal planet.
- I can’t help but gravitate towards you. It must be your incredible mass that’s creating the gravitational pull.
- How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you, I would guess.
- You look like a hobo. You can live in my heart if you want.
- They all say I’m a pussy. But then again, we are what we eat.
- Did you know that a pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes? I bet I can make yours last longer.
- I would ask you if you are tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don’t do any running.
- Girl, you make curves great again.
- Hold still, there’s a mosquito on your ass.
- If I were a tractor and you were a plow, I would definitely hook up with you.
- My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren’t conventionally attractive.
- Are you a fire alarm? Because you are really loud and annoying!
- Are you water? Because you don’t taste like anything.
- Are you human? Just making sure.
- To be honest, you reek! Do you want to shower together?
- Hey, my name’s [insert your name here] and I can disappoint you in ways you’ve never imagined.
- I’d drink your bathwater.
- Since all the hot ones are already taken, this is going to be your lucky night!
- I like my partners like how I like my fast-food meals. Extra-large!
- You know, the more I drink, the prettier you get.
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Latest Mean Pick Up Lines
- Are you feeling down? Because I can feel you up.
- Much as I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.
- I know hello in 6 different languages, which one do you want me to tell you tomorrow?
- You’re like a low-life bandit. I’ll give you everything so please don’t hurt me.
- Are you a mirror? Because I die a little inside whenever I look at you.
- Do you like seafood? Because I’ve got plenty of crabs.
- Are you a tax collector? Because I’m gonna avoid you at all costs!
- You look a lot like my next victim.
- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? It must have, considering that you clearly landed on your face.
- If I’m a pain in your ass, then we can just add more lubricant.
- The more I drink, the more beautiful you become. Cheers!
- Are you free tonight, or are you going to cost me?
- I’m willing to lower my standards if you go on a date with me.
- How are you still so fat when you’ve been running in my mind for so long?
- If you were a booger, I’d definitely pick you.
- Are you Jamaican? Cuz Jamaican me vomit.
- Are you an alarm clock? Because I want to kill you.
- I bet your muffled screams are as cute as you.
- I think I’m bipolar. One hour I’m thinking of you and another I’m thinking of us.
- You remind me of my appendix. I don’t know you, but something inside me is saying I should take you out.
- Do you want to be disappointed tonight?
- What’s a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?
- Did you just fart? Because you blew me away!
- I wish I was menstruation, so I could visit you once a month.
- I just got out of Leavenworth. Can I steal you a drink? How about a BMW?
- My love for you is like cancer, it just keeps growing and growing.
- Sit on my face, and I’ll eat my way to your heart.
- I know you’re busy today, but can you add me to your to-do list?
- If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.
- Are you a durian? Because you’re a total snack, but you smell like rotting flesh.
- Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?
- Are you a tumor? Because you grow on me fast. I want to take you out now or die trying.
- Whenever I see kites flying in the sky, I think of you. Just like them, you’re only beautiful at a distance.
- I dreamt about you. You died.
- You don’t sweat much for a fat chick.
- Did you fall from heaven? Because your face is messed up.
- I love you so much that If you were suddenly on fire, I’d pee on you.
- You’re so fine that I wouldn’t care if you were dead or alive!
- You remind me of my brother/sister.
- Did something bad happen to you, or are you just naturally ugly?
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Savage Mean Pick Up Lines
- You owe me a drink! You’re so ugly I dropped mine the moment I saw you.
- Roses are red, violets are blue. I’m using my hand and thinking of you.
- Are you a shrimp? Because I don’t need your head. All I want is your body.
- Didn’t I just see you on the “Most Wanted” list?
- My love, when your eyes get sick, do you go to an ophthalmologist or a jeweler?
- My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can’t hold it in.
- Sit on my face and I’ll guess your weight.
- Girl, you’re so hot my zipper is falling for you! (make her look)
- I’d like to be the flu so I could spend a couple of weeks with you in bed.
- Are you an angel? Cause I’m allergic to feathers. (fake sneeze)
- Are you constipated? Because you are so full of sh*t!
- First, I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I’ll move up to your belly button.
- Your eyes are as blue as the ocean I dumped my ex’s body in.
- I grew up during the sixties, with the peace and love generation. If I can’t get some love, I’d like to get a piece.
- Are you poop? Because even when you’re far away, I can smell you.
- Hey baby, I like that dress, but I’d like it better if it were on a prettier girl.
- Are you the square root of -1? Because you’re imaginary.
- Are you the future? Because you’re looking hopeless and bleak.
- I hope your knees aren’t dirty because I just cleaned my floor.
- Is that a discharge in your underwear, or are you just happy to see me?
- I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
- You may not be good-looking, but I still like you.
- Damn! You’re almost as hot as my sister/brother.
- Are you garbage? Because I want to take you out.
- You have pretty eyeballs. Of course, they’d be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
- “Smile if you want to sleep with me.” (and watch them try to hold back their laugh)
- Get on your knees and smile like a doughnut!
- Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan.
- Are you a snack? Because everyone eats you for fun.
- Do you like sausages? Because you’re the wurst!
- Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 93 million miles away from me.
- Are you a motorcycle? Because I’d like to ride you all day, and then sell you for a newer model.
- I just pooped in my bed. Can I sleep in yours?
- Are you a campfire? Cause you’re hot and I want s’more.
- You’re as rude as a trespasser! You didn’t even ask permission when entering my heart and thoughts.
- Are you cancer? Because you’re starting to grow on me.
- So we’re friends now, when do the benefits kick in?
